The Long-Awaited Five-Star Review

Stumbling upon this hidden gem of a restaurant was like finding a solitary oasis in the middle of the driest desert--rare and life-changing. Looking back, we've had good meals and bad meals, but no perfect meals. Who could have known that McDonald's golden light would shed upon us and cause us to dish out our very first five star utensil review.

We think we've found the one.

This is starting to sound like the beginning of a love story but to be honest, it feels like one. They claim that "I'm lovin' it" and they are completely right. We started our storybook romance with a Happy Meal ($3.99), a meal aptly named considering the elation it left us feeling.

Left to right: Small Fries, Chocolate Milk, BBQ Sauce

The meal is customized to your liking, offering a choice between a grilled cheese, hamburger, cheeseburger, chicken snack wrap, or chicken nuggets + a choice of a side + a drink. We went with the chicken nuggets, small fries, and chocolate milk. $3.99 for chicken nuggets, fries, and a drink? We thought it was too good to be true.

Left to right: Yogurt, Chicken Nuggets















Alas, it was both too good and too true.

The Chicken McNuggets were fried to a perfect crisp with a lightly breaded batter encompassing some of the most tender, flavourful, and legitimate chicken we've ever had the pleasure of tasting. Pairing perfectly with the salty golden (in both colour and Olympic standing) McNuggets are McDonald's even saltier World Famous Fries, strangely advertised as being "made with real potatoes". We think they meant "made with fairy dust". These are fries that still haunt our dreams at night--perfectly seasoned, it was like each fry was individually made with the care and attention of a world-class chef. And what better to wash down fairy dust than the tears of angels themselves, in the form of prepackaged chocolate milk.

Complimentary Collectible Item


If that wasn't enough, we even got a toy and stickers. Excuse us while we swoon, McDonald's knows how to make each individual customer feel one-of-a-kind. In our books blog, they can do no wrong, somehow effortlessly combining nuggets, fries, and a drink to create a trifecta of wholesome, quality food that we'll never let go of. Heart eyes everywhere.


5 comments:

  1. This was cruel. Five-star restaurants are nothing to joke about!

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  2. ^ are you kidding me? Someone can't take a joke lol jeez. Anyways I loved this! Great laugh & great review!

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  3. Sorry but posts like this make your opinion illegitmate

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    Replies
    1. O shit, this was an April fools joke... my apologies

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